Leslie Gottlieb (
lesliepear) wrote2006-06-11 10:01 pm
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Oy!
Ok, Mark's car turned out to not run very well after the battery was replaced. So Saturday I drove it to the local Gulf station (he admited he's embarassed I know more about cars than he does). This station is run by some hard working Koreans and we've gotten gas there for years but never got a repair (I had a wiper put on once). I left the car and walked home. They called and said it was the starter, they'd check further after that.
I drove us to get some photos Mark needed for work. Then we went to Pathmark which was having a customer and employee appreciation barbeque. Yes, the supermarket was giving away free food (burgers, dogs, salad, cake, chips - and coke had a booth there to get free soda). We met my MIL there and all had lunch. We then went back to my MIL, I helped her unload some boxes my SIL had given her. My MIL was afraid to lift them. After lifting Alan all the time still, boxes are nothing - they don't wiggle! We checked on the car - the starter was in - the car runs a little rough but I don't think they knew what to do. Mark and I figured that was the way it's been running for a while and he's going to drive into the ground anyway.
I ended up picking the car up around 5 and taking it to the supermarket. As I suspected, it was running the same way it had before but at least starts ok - and we are out 300.00 (it could have been worse). Whatever makes it run rough, goes away after it's warmed up (and it had a tuneup in October.)
Today we headed out on our usual Sunday trip - Patterson farmer's market, Corados, Big Lots/Dollar Tree. Alan and I had gone to a dollar store in the farmer's market. I had my back to Alan and he managed to run out the door and down the street (clutching a Thomas coloring book!) I was upset, but Mark was more so. He was unhappy I didn't hold him, and upset with Alan for running on the street. So we went home then and there (after returning the book). Alan had no TV for the rest of the day and I put his Thomas trains in the car trunk so he couldn't play with them. Mark really wanted to impress on Alan how bad he'd been - he didn't even want to play with Alan (no fun for Alan, no treats). I'm still not 100% sure Alan what he'd done wrong, but actually a day without TV turned out to be good for him. I did puzzles with him and I saw him play with different toys than he had in the past. He even was less hyped up at bedtime. So, I think we should cut out the TV more often. He actually didn't complain or try to put a TV on that much. And the last attempt, I distracted him after saying no and he forgot about it. But it was a long day for us and kind of a downer.
I drove us to get some photos Mark needed for work. Then we went to Pathmark which was having a customer and employee appreciation barbeque. Yes, the supermarket was giving away free food (burgers, dogs, salad, cake, chips - and coke had a booth there to get free soda). We met my MIL there and all had lunch. We then went back to my MIL, I helped her unload some boxes my SIL had given her. My MIL was afraid to lift them. After lifting Alan all the time still, boxes are nothing - they don't wiggle! We checked on the car - the starter was in - the car runs a little rough but I don't think they knew what to do. Mark and I figured that was the way it's been running for a while and he's going to drive into the ground anyway.
I ended up picking the car up around 5 and taking it to the supermarket. As I suspected, it was running the same way it had before but at least starts ok - and we are out 300.00 (it could have been worse). Whatever makes it run rough, goes away after it's warmed up (and it had a tuneup in October.)
Today we headed out on our usual Sunday trip - Patterson farmer's market, Corados, Big Lots/Dollar Tree. Alan and I had gone to a dollar store in the farmer's market. I had my back to Alan and he managed to run out the door and down the street (clutching a Thomas coloring book!) I was upset, but Mark was more so. He was unhappy I didn't hold him, and upset with Alan for running on the street. So we went home then and there (after returning the book). Alan had no TV for the rest of the day and I put his Thomas trains in the car trunk so he couldn't play with them. Mark really wanted to impress on Alan how bad he'd been - he didn't even want to play with Alan (no fun for Alan, no treats). I'm still not 100% sure Alan what he'd done wrong, but actually a day without TV turned out to be good for him. I did puzzles with him and I saw him play with different toys than he had in the past. He even was less hyped up at bedtime. So, I think we should cut out the TV more often. He actually didn't complain or try to put a TV on that much. And the last attempt, I distracted him after saying no and he forgot about it. But it was a long day for us and kind of a downer.
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Re: replace
Re: replace
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What really upset me was "I'm still not 100% sure Alan what he'd done wrong". THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE MOST IMPORTANT PART of any type of discipline for the situation. All you guys managed to do was strike out at each other and traumatize the kid while teaching him nothing.
I waited a day to reply because what you wrote upset me so much. As someone who works with kids, that frightened me.
We had a kid when I was teaching daycare, his parents did the same thing. He didn't connect the crime with the punishment,and consequently, when he wanted to go home, he ran away from her. He was hit by a car in the parking lot and killed.
If you do nothing else this week, MAKE SURE he understands WHY you reacted the way you did. PLEASE.
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We both fear him running away just like your student did - he has scared us in the past and isn't always easy taking places and getting him to cooperate. I hope all 3 of us learned a lesson from the experience.