Souce Unknown

[lesliepear]

January 18, 2005

CHENEY TO BECOME HUMAN BILLBOARD AT INAUGURAL
Corporations Rush to Buy Ad Space on Veep

To cover the escalating costs of this Thursday's inauguration of
President George W. Bush, major corporations are lining up to buy ad
space on the side of Vice President Dick Cheney, the White House
announced today.

According to the administration, Mr. Cheney will become a "human
billboard" to display the logos of several Fortune 500 companies
underwriting the expensive event.

Using state-of-the-art blue-screen technology, Mr. Cheney's body will
play host to ads for some of the Bush campaign's largest corporate
contributors, as well as promos for upcoming Fox TV shows.

In addition to selling ad space on the vice president, the
inauguration is taking advantage of several "unique opportunities for
product placement," the White House confirmed.

First daughter Jenna Bush, for example, will wear a superhero costume
identical to that warn by actress Jennifer Garner in the current
release "Elektra."

And at the end of his oath of office, Mr. Bush will follow the
phrase "so help me God" with "I'm going to Disneyland!"

The lavishness of the second Bush inaugural has come under fire in
recent days, with critics alleging that the $40 million price-tag for
the event was rapidly approaching that of Star Jones' wedding.

But Mr. Bush today defended the event's costly pomp, arguing that by
mounting the lavish inauguration he was "sending a message of hope to
the Iraqi people."

"It is important to show the Iraqis that one benefit of democratic
elections is an over-the-top blow-out for the winners," Mr. Bush
said.

Elsewhere, at the U.S. Senate, Secretary of State nominee Condoleezza
Rice began her second day of not answering questions.