Inky

[lesliepear]

I thought things were going well with her p**ing problem. Last night after Alan went to bed, I smelled something . I tried to clean it up before DH noticed (I had forgotten to pill her last night and I hadn't been cleaning the box for a day or two). Too late. He noticed.
He got on my case about getting rid of Inky. So I shut her in the bathroom and set up a temporary litter box for Moxie. I asked him to stop talking about as I didn't feel well. He thought I was putting Inky first. He just doesn't understand - I've had Inky since she's 8 weeks old, it hurts. I did have an offer for someone to take her in Georgia, but I don't want her sent there. I don't even want to give her up, I just want her to stay somewhere for a while. I didn't sleep well last night I got all congested from this sinus infection I'm getting over and I was upset. I called in sick today to try to rest and took Alan to daycare. I feel awful.

He just doesn't understand about Inky. She's a mixed up cat, her parents were brother and sister. It just seems so wrong to give her up, but all DH cares about is the smell and the damage to the carpet and the loss of money with this place. I hate this place. We're crammed into 3 rooms, the master bath has a mold problem, we've barely childproofed, stuff is all over the place -- and it isn't ALL my stuff (when I moved in 1998, my stuff just got piled on top of his stuff and never was sorted out). I'd love some help cleaning things up. I wish someone could come over and help me replace the broken book case. I need someone to help me as its over 6 feet tall and someone needs to watch Alan (therefore 3 or more people are needed). I feel like cr*p - I keep crying and no one understands. I've got my own stresses, I don't like my job but I'm stuck there. I desperately want to work in NJ - after Alan's fall last month and then the blackout I want to be closer to home.

I guess I'm so upset I'm just rambling. I can't talk to my cat list internet friends, they would do anything to make the cat stay and that has stuck in my head for being on those lists for so many years (since the mid 90's). I feel like I'm being pushed into something I don't want to do. Part of me even feels like taking Moxie, Inky and Alan and just leaving...but that's not very rational or realistic.

Moxie would get to stay. He's so mellow. He's a good kitty.

I just wish I could feel better.

Comments

[redgrrl.livejournal.com]

Oh, Leslie -- I'm sorry you're going through this. Caring for an older animal is so difficult because they have all these issues that are so distasteful -- like incontinence. I remember being so frustrated when I was caring for Belle in her final days. You love them so much, but...

Hang in there. Can you find someone nearby to take Inky who's willing to deal with these problems? I know that would be difficult on both of you, though -- but it's something to consider.

Hope you're feeling better VERY soon -- I'm thinking good thoughts for you!

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm trying to find someone nearby to take her. I just hope DH can deal with my broken heart.

[lunameow.livejournal.com]

If you absolutely have to get rid of her, check your area for a Senior Cat Rescue group. They specialize in placing older cats with health problems in homes where they'll be well-cared for. At the very least, it would ease some of the pain if you knew she was going to someone who doesn't mind dealing with the incontinence and such.

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

That's exactly what I need. You don't know if there are any in NJ?

(She may not even be incontinent...it could be a stress thing - she was vet checked).

[lunameow.livejournal.com]

Offhand, I'm not sure if there are any... but I can't imagine there wouldn't be. Check with your vet, they should have a list of places like that. If not, check the phone book under "animal rescue"... you might also check with your local police department, since they'd have an animal control division, and would probably know of some rescue groups.

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

I found a yahoogroups mailing list. Vet wasn't much helpful nor was a nearby no-kill shelter.

I may find someone from one of my cat lists...

[cathymg2.livejournal.com]

I say ditch the hubby and keep the cat. After all, if he can't handle the old cat, what will he do with an old wife?
It's tough, I'm sorry. I know where you're at. We have a diabetic cat who we have to give shots to twice a day. The insulin alone costs us $75, and I have to go to Wal-mart and buy the needles. "No, I need small needles for my cat, really." I feel like a criminal.
But we're committed to seeing her to the end. She's only six!
Good luck, I hope you find the best solution for poor Inky.

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

Part of me feels the same way right now. It is NOT an easy decision.
If we only had a house where Inky could have her own room...


Good luck with the cat.

PS: DH only wants to find her a new home. He doesn't want her put to sleep.

[luscious-purple.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear! You definitely need a bigger, better place!

I sympathize about Inky. Toward the end of her life, my doggie Brandi (pictured above) got incontinent. I think she had some degenerative spinal disease that afflicts German shepherd type dogs, although it was never officially diagnosed. It got really hard to deal with. I had to get rid of the carpeting after she died. Some people thought I was weird to put up with her health problems as long as I did, but I loved her so much.

There's an LJ community called petcare -- don't know if anybody there could help. Or at least sympathize too.

Our mutual friend, the C in C-and-R, also has been fighting a sinus infection (and it's been taking different kinds of antibiotics to get rid of it). Those bugs can be tough.

Best wishes, and I hope things get better for you soon!

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Oh (hugs) -- that must be a heartbreaking decision to have to make. And it sounds like Inky's troubles are only one factor in a bigger problem, which is that your place is just too stuffed full to be workable. Is there any possibility of moving?

Food for thought: the carpet damage may already be beyond salvageable. Cat urine smells really soak in, and even if you can get it to the point that the humans don't smell it, often the cats still will... with predictable results. I love my Nature's Miracle but if that isn't doing it, then perhaps financially it doesn't matter whether you get rid of Inky now or later - the cost may already be incurred. Something to consider.

If I were anywhere near you I'd help you with that bookcase. Darn these distances anyway.

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

That's what I'm worried about with the smell. Oddly enough Moxie will reliably use the box. He's even using the temporary box I set up outside the bathroom where Inky is huddled on the toilet top (poor thing).

Since we live in the second most expensive place around (your area is #1, I think) housing prices are too much. Our dinky 2 bedroom condo could go for 220K or more. And there are few houses where we want to buy in the 300K that DH wants to spend (paying cash) - he's very stubborn about moving.

I've had some e-mail conversations today and he may consider fixing this place up a bit. But I don't think Inky can stay. But I have to find her a home first.

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Poor Inky! And poor you - what a full plate you have: Inky, overstuffed place, job you hate, commute you hate, worry about Alan, still sick... sheesh.

Oh did we get to #1 again? Ah well, it fluctuates. Housing prices are insane. We saved for ten years for the DOWN PAYMENT. Ten YEARS. Sigh. I hope you don't have to do the same.

Good luck finding Inky a home you can trust. I hope you feel better soon, physically, so that you can deal with stuff.

[didjiman.livejournal.com]

Hi Leslie, long time no talk...

Rissa is 14 years old, a respectful age even for a Corgi. She has been having leaking "issues" for the last couple years. Sometimes we give her medications to help with the problems. Mainly we just keep sending her out. Of course with her old crutchty self, she would grrr... at us, especially at the firstborn (who is only couple inches shorter than I am, BTW) while walking out. It is tough to handle, but doable.

Of course Kiva, the "only" 10 year old, has been blind (congenital disease) since 5 years ago and she was crippled in the back end 3 years ago. You can't tell that most of the time, but occasionally she just doesn't have the control a normal dog might have. So out comes the vinegar and much cursing to clean up.

But you know, we have these dogs a long time, C. helped to birth Kiva! We can never get rid of the buggers, despite the problems...

Best of luck with Inky!

// richard