Inky

[lesliepear]

I wrote this to one of my cat lists because I got some very negative comments about rehomming Inky. I seriously think some of the people there although wonderful cat owners have some issues with people.


I am very upset with some of the comments I've gotten about rehoming
Inky.

I wish everyone could see how emotionally (I'm in tears) and physically
upset (I've got a sinus infection and congestion and haven't been
sleeping well) I am over this. It wasn't an easy decision to make. I've
been a member of cat lists for many years and have put Moxie and Inky
first for many years as cat listers/cat people do. I have done everything
I can do and am supposed to do when cat inappropriately urinates.
Rehoming is the solution we've come to. Right now you have an upset cat
mommy and daddy and a depressed cat in the bathroom. Noone is having fun
this way. I have given up one cat before, Simba, because of DH's
allergies (and his agression toward Inky) and even that wasn't an easy
decision. I took the time then to find him a good home in Connecticut and
am doing the same for Inky. I ideally want her somewhere where I can keep
in touch with her and would even support her stay. If we ever get a
house, my husband would consider reclaiming her even. He knows how
upsetting this is to me and is very supportive and loving. He will miss
her very much also. There are less responsible solutions I could have
chosen to the problem, but neither of us would consider them for her.

Moxie is staying behind. He is not tightly bonded to Inky, I think he
prefers human company and is not causing any problems. I think it would
be far worse if I got rid of both of them for one cats problem.

Please don't judge me harshly - you may not agree with my decision but
some of the comments I have gotten haven't been hurtful including the
ones about my husband (yes, he did push the decision but something HAD to
be done for everyone's sake - we could not go on in an small apartment
that stunk of urine and we were afraid of health hazards to Alan and us.)
Would you feel the same way if I had to rehome Inky due to my son having
allergies or even worse, she hurt my son?

I'd really prefer if people would the stress the positive of finding Inky
a home instead of the negative of condemming my decision.

Comments

[mighty-sam.livejournal.com]

Wow... you deserved no negative comments. At least you found a new home, rather than one of a countless assortment of inhumane options.

Some people... geez.

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

Thanks Sam. She doesn't yet have a new home, we are still working on it.

[birdbrainmummy.livejournal.com]

I totally understand how you feel and what you are going through. I think you are doing the right thing and I applaud you for doing the right thing.

I really hope it all works out.

Take care! ((hugs))

[portia.livejournal.com]

:o( You poor thing. It must have been a horribly painful decision to have to make. I couldn't even imagining having to make a similar decision. I hope Inky adjusts to her new home and can be happy again.

Those people are jerks.

[cheesepuppet.livejournal.com]

We had to do the same with our dog once, and it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. He was/is a wonderful dog. I'm so sorry you're going through this. The people you're talking about on the list just don't get it.

[didjiman.livejournal.com]

AH, best of luck. Life's decisions are always compromises. You have to do the best for everyone involved, and some times that decision just isn't "acceptable" by other people. Easy for them to say since they are not in your shoes.

Hope it all work out for the best.

[elliriel.livejournal.com]

Bravo to you for finding a new home for Inky, and a big wet raspberry to the nasty people! I had to leave my beloved kitties behind with my ex when I left because the people I was moving in with had a strict no-pets policy, and it only compounded the grief of the whole separation-divorce mess, so I "get it."

[redgrrl.livejournal.com]

It's really crappy that some of those people made you feel so bad. You're doing what is right for you and your family after trying every other solution. They have no right to judge you.

Good luck finding a place for Inky. I hope it's somewhere close by so you can visit.

[cathymg2.livejournal.com]

wow, I'm sorry. I didn't see the other comments, and I'm kind of glad I didn't. Don't you just love people who judge?
wish I could help out more -- I'm a huge cat person too. I hope Inky finds a good home soon to live out his days in comfort.
Also, as an aside, we had a kitty when I was little who did this when she was older, and we tried some kitty prozac (that's what we called it). It was a sort of anti-depressant for cats. It worked somewhat... didn't solve the urinating problem but made it a little better.

[purple-roses.livejournal.com]

Too many people lash out without considering how you might feel or what is motivating the decision. Plus, it's not like you're dropping the guy off at the shelter, which I actually had to do with a dog once. No one has any right to be mean to you. I'm so sorry you've been hurt, but know that you're doing the right thing. Inky will be happier in a home where everyone is happy with him too.

[pywacket.livejournal.com]

I'm a serious cat person. Four cats, yep. And when we move I'm going to volunteer at a nokill shelter. So I feel I can safely speak with authority--it is about THE CAT. If the kitty is unhappy, the kitty needs to go live someplace where the kitty can be happy. Sometimes kitties aren't terribly pleased when the pink kittens (babies) come along and they need to find an adult household where they can be the baby. As long as you are doing everything you can to make the kitty happy then you are doing right.

[stitchinthyme.livejournal.com]

I really hate people sometimes. I can't imagine that anyone who loves cats enough to be on a mailing list about them for as many years as you have would ever take the decision to give up their pet lightly. I'll admit that my first reaction when I saw your posts on LJ about this was that your DH was being unreasonable...but then I thought about whether I'd like to live with an incontinent pet -- I wouldn't. Hell, I wouldn't want to live with an incontinent person!

Hope you find a loving home close-by for Inky.

[yeoww.livejournal.com]

I had 3 cats for years, but MH was terribly allergic, so I had to find a new home for two of them (my eldest kitty died around the same time). The alternative would have been for MH to be sick all of the time. Even if I'd been willing to accept that, I believe the kitties would have felt the tension and that it would have affected them negatively. I found a home for both of them together, which was a must since they were littermates. Everything ended happily. I think you're being very sensitive and responsible and realistic about your situation.

Ditto...

[msmichelle.livejournal.com]

to what everyone else (in LJ) said. Sorry that people showed such little sensitivity to what you were going through on your cat list. Jeez.
You are doing the right thing for Inky and everyone else. Hugs.